It’s been a while!

by RA Jr. on July 29, 2012

Hello RA’s!

It’s been a while since we’ve last posted and we’re really sorry for that. Really. But truthfully, it’s because we don’t love you anymore it’s summer and we’ve suddenly gotten lives new shoes that demand being taken out for walks on actual streets outside of our apartment.  This means computer access is limited. Yes, one could argue that we could post from our handy dandy cellular devices, but we weren’t going to do that. Why, you ask? Because we weren’t mobile-y equipped (aka, we didn’t get the iPhone until last week).

Anyhoo, we’re here today to bring you some updated subway attire fit for anyone bold enough to ride the subway into Men-hetten and back. Behold:

Yes, it’s the B train and yes it’s a real-live Barbie Doll! What? You don’t believe us? Just look at the resemblance:

Twinsies!

But now comes the time when we ask you for a favor fave: since we live all the way on the outskirts of the Russian hub (aka Men-hetten) we need you RA readers to send us pics of ridiculous shoes, outfits, hair colors, and otherwise rambunctious behavior you see on the streets while patrolling for us. You’re still RA troopers, aren’t you? We’ll take your silence as agreement. So go forth and bring us back what you see out there!

Email us at russiansanonymous@gmail.com

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Subway Etiquette for the Russian Commuter

by RA Jr. on May 10, 2012

 Everyone knows that you can’t truly call yourself a New Yorker unless you know your way around the subway system. And if you know us, you know that we hold hands and frolic all the way downtown during our daily morning commute. Just kidding…we only do that sometimes.  But what we’re not kidding about is the fact that Russians are easily spotted on any train line and have thus created their own etiquette. In case you’re not yet a true New Yorker and wish to learn more about proper subway etiquette,  see our handy dandy list below:

1) When train doors open, make sure you’re the first person to get inside. The train may look packed, but you know that there’s an empty seat hiding out somewhere and you just can’t risk anyone else getting to it before you do. Use all necessary force to club, claw, and push your way in — remember: it’s all worth it for the pleasure of potentially being able to sit for 2 whole train stops.

2) When sitting, make sure to stare at the crotch directly in your face. Sure it may we a bit uncomfortable for the person, or yourself for that matter, but where else are you going to look?

3) Give up your seat for no one. At all costs. Yes, there may be a 9 month pregnant woman in the wings who *looks* like she wants to sit down, but trust us, she’s only staring at you because she’s jealous of your Dior shades and not because she feels like she’s about to collapse. Go ahead and keep that seat. You deserve it.

4) The train is the perfect place to put on your make up, curl your eyelashes, and get a head start on that mani/ pedi. The people around you will really appreciate the free tutorial, trust us.

5) If you’re unlucky and don’t get a seat, whatever you do, do NOT touch the hand rails around you. They are filled with questionable germs and you will DIE if you come in direct contact! Or just feel uncomfortable for the first few seconds, which is pretty much the same thing.

 If you end up losing balance because your subway surfing skills are sub-par, just make sure you fall into something soft, like the babushka eating semechki. And when you attain oligarch status, you can take cabs. We promise to follow up with cab etiquette in due time. Until then, just remember that a crowded train is no excuse for unlawful sexual conduct. Byeeee!

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There is indeed love in this club

by RA Jr. on May 2, 2012

Today we would like to tackle an important topic that we like to tackle on the frequent side of things. This topic, as you probably guessed, is how awesome we are the topic of love. The topic of love with Russians, naturally, which we call R&R. And what better way to explore this riveting topic than by doing in the field research at real clubs. Err.. that’s what we meant to do until we lost focus and got way too drunk rowdy at Mehanata this weekend. Anyways, behold:

This is how love happens. Two beautiful men come together to form one beautiful vampire power couple.

Speaking of power couples, did you know Ryan Seacrest was Russian?

On the other side of the club, this guy is just trying to reclaim the sandwich his girlfriend ate earlier. Or eat her instead.. whichever comes first.

And then there’s Plushtiality. We don’t blame you home girl, pickings are slim out there.

And a final word to the girls: there are  always guys ready to steal your heart…. but first they might steal your wallet.

Good luck out there!

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