You might be thinking at this very moment that we are coming on to you. Hard. And we are. But only because we can’t take our eyes off of your Armani Exchange tee shirt.
But if we were to hit on you, Shura, Antosha, and Grisha- we would do it in your native tongue: Rush- lish (Russian + English – get it? get it???!). Why? Because you are most likely from Brooklyn- the land of broken hearts and more importantly, broken English. (And you thought we wouldn’t remember meeting you at the Banya last Sunday just because you’re Grisha #3 in our phone book! The image of your chest hair has been burned into the side of our brains. Permanently.)
Watch us go:
Kroshka – literal translation: crumb. Used effectively: Kroshka, do you want to shake and bake with me later?
Moosya – literal translation: none; sounds like: moose. Used effectively: Moosya, what big antlers you have. Do you want to shake and bake with me later? You can be Kroshka moya.
Lapa – literal translation: paw. Used effectively: Lapa, want to go back to my place later? I can’t keep my paws off of you….
Kottik – literal translation: kitty. Used effectively: Kottik, my name is Lana, but my friends call me Poosya. Do you know what that means? We’re two pussies.. meowwwww. (Can I scratch at your pole later?)
Kozzachka – literal translation: little goat. Used effectively: They call me Kozzachka.. Kazyol if you’re nasty.
And one more for good times:
Karova – literal translation: cow. Effective usage: Um, no, there is no effective usage here. But should you choose to use this, here is how it can be done: Moosya, you can’t go to Brighton Beach in that bikini, you look like a giant karova. Moo.
Doesn’t that feel sooo much better?
PS — what pet name will you use? Tell us below. Most creative wins a big hugeeeeeeeeee hug from us. And isn’t that worth it?
PPS — all images courtesy of Google images.