You know you’re a Ruski Bro if…

by RA Jr. on July 13, 2011

…you’re this guy:

But if you’re NOT this guy, here are a few other tell tale signs:

1. Spiked hair. Hair gel = pizdets.
2. No hair? No problem! Bald is beautiful.
3. Prada shades… and shoes.
4. Babushka. She’s your one and only.
5. Double limo tints – on your Maxima 2000.
6. Actually, you’ve upgraded to a Benz.
7. You don’t travel without your beats. House music, kid.
8. Member of AA: Armani Exchange & Acqua Di Gio club.
9. School? Nah, it’s all about opening up your own business.
9 a. But if that fails, you can always become a computer programmer.
10. iPhone 5 (your brother’s cousin’s sister’s boyfriend knows a cousin whose brother has an in).
11. Did we mention techno? Blast that shit!
13. Parliaments.
14. Bally’s Total Fitness. Getting tired ripped.
15. Gonna make SO MUCH money bro!

Just look at that stack of bills you got from your parents earned!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Mshimanov July 13, 2011 at 3:45 pm

6. Actually, you’ve upgraded to a leased Benz.

Suggestion for a future list:  “Russian Restaurant” Top Ten Hits.

Reply

imnotalex July 13, 2011 at 5:13 pm

9. School? Nah, it’s all about opening up your own
business cell phone store.

Reply

Imnotalex July 13, 2011 at 5:17 pm

   
   
   
        Correction: 9. School? Nah, it’s all about opening up your own
       
            business
       
        cell phone store.
   
   
   

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Anonymous July 13, 2011 at 5:19 pm

true :) 

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Anonymous July 13, 2011 at 5:22 pm

So…. did we miss anything? Share! 

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SM July 15, 2011 at 1:00 am

This is exactly why we are so embarrassingly racist. Us and blacks are EXACTLY THE SAME, but small differences (skin color, dong length) drive us insane with hatred.

Reply

SOSATARA August 1, 2011 at 4:18 am

lol I actually know who the guy is in the photo.. whatever and not all the Russians open up businesses and become computer programmers/IT.. stereotype!

Reply

Anonymous August 1, 2011 at 1:05 pm

True :) … but admittedly so, stereotypes are stereotypes usually because there is some truth to them (for better or for worse) 

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